hey hey.. since i just visted my blog for fun and seeing it left there as deadly as it could ever be...
So.. I just thought maybe i would just post something..
So...   THIS IS SOMETHING.. thats' all Folks..!!!
TeeHee..........!!!!!!   :D

Weather, weather weather has been so so horrible these few days, it's suddenly raining then sunny all again. Do humans behaved the way like what weather do too..? I guessed so.. I don't feel happy right now however i don't feel sad too, i'm just feeling annoyed or whatsoever with it. Somehow or rather, just a little.......

Perhaps i was expecting too much of you, yeah.. u did well, i raised the standard.. so now i guessed the standard was too much higher than u might ever get to... i'm disappointed, apparently it's my fault to not feel satisfied though. I seriously got to do much reflections... was i really wrong to ask much..?  well, maybe i am......

Seriously, hate this feeling that i'm having now...

 

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage : Lipton Tea
2. Last phone call : Shuna
3. Last text message : Dear : )
4. Last song you listened to: Luo Zhi Xiang: Ai Feng Tou
5. Last time you cried : Last Month..?

HAVE YOU EVER:
7. Been cheated on: Nah
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Yes
9. Lost someone special : Nope
10. Been depressed: Yes.
11. Been drunk and threw up: Nah

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Light Green
13. Light Pink
14. Turquiose

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)
15. Made a new friend: Yes.
16. Fallen out of love: No
17. Laughed until you cried: Yes.
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes.
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes .
20. Found out someone was talking about you: No
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list : Nope
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Reasonably of a handful i guessed.. haha
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2
24. Do you have any pets: Nope.
25. Do you want to change your name: No
26. What did you do for your last birthday: At my house with best frens,chit chatting and eating cakes.
27. What time did you wake up today: 2.PM.. oops..
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching america's next top model cycle 14
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Getting my pay and SHOPPING!!!
30. Last time you saw your Mother: Just now she came in my room to check on me whether have i switched off my lappy.. haha
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Wished i have put RP as my last choice during JAE.. haha
32. What are you listening to right now: the fan blowing on me..?
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Of course.. haha
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: I'm working alone tomoro with Boss.. haha
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook
36. What's your real name : Ailena Tan Jia Wen
37. Nicknames: Ailisitanna.
38. Relationship Status: In A Relationship with Bryan Chng  : )
39. Zodiac sign: Aries
40. Male or female?: Female.
41. Elementary?: West View and Hong Kah Primary School.
42. Middle School?: Fajar Secondary School.
43. High school/college?: No idea.
44. Hair colour: Brown..?
46. Height: 160cm.
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: Dudu..!! hahahaha...
48: What do you like about yourself?: My Smile.. hehe...
49. Piercings: my ears..?
50. Tattoos: No
51. Righty or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: No
53. First piercing: Yes..? Ears...
54. First best friend: primary sch or something..? i forgot the names..  :X
55. First sport you joined: Badminton
56. First vacation: i don't remember.. haha

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: Nothing.
60. Drinking: Nothing.
61. I'm about to: Sleep.
62. Listening to: Nothing
63. Waiting on: My flight to La La Land..

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: Of course.
65. Get Married?: Of course.
66. Career?: Air Stewardess. (Maybe..) haha...

WHICH IS BETTER
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs.
69. Shorter or taller: Taller.
70. Older or Younger: Younger.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Arms.
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive.
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: No
77. Drank hard liquor: No
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Yes, my contacts and it's only one side... it's like so so stupid.. haha
79. Sex on first date: No No No No....!!!
80. Broke someone's heart: Yes...
82. Been arrested: No
83. Turned someone down: Yeah
84. Cried when someone died: Yes
85. Fallen for a friend?: Yes.. If not how to know each other..? haha...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: absolutely..
87. Miracles: Sort of..
88. Love at first sight: No
89. Heaven: Yeah
90. Santa Claus: Maybe..?
91. Kiss on the first date: No
92. Angels: Yeah

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No
95. Did you sing today?: Yes, while scrubbing the floor and listening to my phone..
96. Ever cheated on somebody: No.
97. If you could go back in time: if i could..?  i will put RP as my last choice.. hahahaha...
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: No idea,
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Definitely..!? who won't..?
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: this boredom is freaking me out...!!! hahaha...

 

Finally readers... i have posted...!! Firstly, i feel like smacking myself hard in the face for not posting and logging into Live Journal... i have a hard time figuring out how to use it at this point of time.. the log in password was successful within 2 tries.. and i think i got happy too fast.. haha.. Come to think of it.. almost half a year i did not post... Apparently.. Life's Good.. haha.. with Family, Ling, Besties all beside me..
i'm so blessed.. Praise the Lord... ( ", )
Alright, i shall post the story which i consider it to be a very touching yet insipiring story which i got it from a fren's blog, so i just copy and paste everything.. haha.. * Enjoy readers.



不是每一句“对不起”，都能换来一句“没关系”。

男孩和女孩从小就认识，男孩经常约女孩一起去村外的池塘边捉小虾，每次男孩总是满载而归，女孩却是两手空空，女孩总是失落的含着眼泪，独自一个人回到家，然后闷闷不乐。晚饭前，男孩敲响女孩家的门，女孩一见是男孩，扭头就走，男孩追上前，对女孩说：“对不起，我把你的虾都捉走了，给，我把它们养在小鱼缸里，送给你。”女孩眉头一放，慧心的笑了，就这样反复着他们纯纯的童年，转眼，他们各自成长着。

——纯纯的“对不起” 。


男孩总是喜欢戏弄女孩，经常会把女孩逗到哭，然后又去哄女孩到她笑为止，直到长大后，也是如此。

男孩经常偷偷的把女孩的自行车轮胎的气放到没有，然后躲在远处，看女孩着急的走投无路，等着女孩拨通他的手机，然后破口大骂他的小贼行为。

可男孩，依旧那么喜欢这样的女孩。他窃窃的从远处走来，灰溜溜的为女孩推着那辆没了气的自行车，任由女孩在一旁发牢骚，男孩却暗自窃喜，然后委屈的对女孩说：“对不起，我知道错了。”随即，女孩便会柔弱下来，告诉男孩下次不允许那样，男孩点头，于是，那时的他们每天都充满着笑容。


—— “对不起”的快乐 。


大学毕业后，男孩和女孩各自有了工作，男孩的工作总是很忙，有时一个月都休息不到一次，而女孩总是抱怨男孩冷落了她，终于，他们有了第一次的吵架。

女孩委屈的哭起来，可男孩却很理直气壮的告诉女孩：“这是为了我的工作。”这场冷战持续了很久。

终于，女孩还是忍不住，主动和男孩和好了。后来很多次男孩和女孩都因为这样的小事而吵得不可开交，可每次，都是女孩先妥协。

那年，女孩生日，男孩答应女孩要给他过一个浪漫的生日，女孩欣喜不已，她在家精心打扮，等着男孩回来陪她渡过这个美妙的生日，这一等就是凌晨，女孩在睡梦中醒来，脸上挂着泪痕，男孩见到女孩，心疼的为女孩擦去脸庞的泪痕：“对不起，嫁给我好吗？” 于是男孩拿出一枚戒指。


—— “对不起”也是一种承诺。


婚后，男孩的事业大有成就，经常有许多应酬，而女孩已经成为一个专职太太了，每天在家为男孩准备热菜热饭，把家里收拾的干干净净，她经常会去菜场买回一些小河虾放在鱼缸里养着，男孩总问他为什么，女孩却总是慧心的一笑。

慢慢的，男孩每次回家，身上总是充满了不同的香水味道，而每次没等女孩问，男孩总是忙着解释说应酬太多。

女孩黯然，那时起，女孩不太爱说话了，也不像以前那么开朗了，她总是喜欢成天的呆在家里，抱着枕头看韩剧，然后随着剧情哭泣，夜深时，就会疯狂的大哭。以后的日子里，男孩回来时，身上的香水味只有一种味道了，女孩从来不问，可是男孩依旧说：“对不起，今天又去应酬了。”


—— “对不起”，谎言的开始。


渐渐的，男孩开始不回家，或总是在外出差，男孩的事业越来越好，身边都是奉承的人，他每天都在别人的恭维下自豪的笑着，而女孩，几乎不出门了，她总会去超市买上很多方便面，和一些必要的日用品，然后把自己关在家里，这一呆就是很久。

从前，女孩会经常和男孩一起聊聊天，而现在，她孤身一人，身边没有一个可以说话的人，每次打电话问男孩什么时候回家，男孩总是仓促的回答到：“对不起，我太忙了。”女孩，失落的扣上电话，那以后她再也没有问男孩什么时候会回家。


—— “对不起”，只是个敷衍的方式。



女孩学着电视上的样子，开始打扮自己，她觉得男孩不回家，也许是看腻了她，她决定不再颓废，自己的幸福应该靠自己争取，而不是无谓的后退。

那天，女孩心血来潮，按照地址去了男孩工作的地方，那是女孩第一次去，也是唯一的一次。

女孩涩涩的按下电梯，来到这个男孩经常说忙的地方，她细细的观察这个公司的每个角落，这里的一切，她都觉得很好看。

终于，绕过长长的办公走廊，她来到男孩的办公室，轻轻的推开门……女孩愣住了，眼前看到的不是自己的丈夫，也不是那个经常弄坏她自行车的那个贼小子，更不是那个把虾放在小鱼缸里的男孩，而是一个正在和别的女人做爱的男人。

那个女人坐在桌子上，******的发出微弱的呻吟 声，那个男人，仿佛山林里饿极了的野兽……

许久，男孩才发现了女孩，男孩惊慌失措，忙把衣裤捡起来穿好。

可女孩，转身离开了。

男孩飞奔出去，追着女孩，那晚，大雨袭击了整个城市。

女孩不顾男孩的叫喊，径直往前跑，往回家的方向跑，男孩在女孩后面大喊：“对不起，我还是爱你的，对不起，我真的只爱你。”可女孩，始终没有听见。


—— 这样的“对不起”太伤人。


男孩一直都没有找到女孩，女孩失踪很久了。男孩的世界已经一片黑暗，无心工作，无心花天酒地，他想不到女孩可以去哪里，因为女孩没有朋友，她唯一的朋友就是男孩，男孩终日守着电话机，手机24小时不关机，怕错过了女孩的电话。

这一等就是半年多。

快递为男孩送来一个盒子。

男孩打开一看，里面是许多河虾的标本，有的在树叶边休息，有的在水草里躲着，各式各样的河虾标本，旁边放着一封信。


“我始终没有勇气再见到你，可能是我太懦弱，也或许是我根本不想见到你，我想这些『警告：注意文明用语！』应该过的没什么两样吧，我很好，我学会了离开你怎么让自己存活，我懂得了怎样赚钱养活自己，而不用每天等着你回家，为你烧一桌热腾腾的饭菜，直到凉了也不见你的人，我的手机已经不用了，因为我已经不会再为你24小时的不关机，让自己饱受辐射的折磨。

我懂得怎样去爱惜自己，珍惜自己的本来应该美好的生活。

我想，我是可以忘记怎么去爱你的，因为你把我的爱弄得遍地麟伤。

离婚协议书，就压在鱼缸的底下，你签完字，按照地址给我寄过来就行了。

对不起，我想我是真的累了。”


男孩按照地址找去，他满心希望能够见到女孩，然后让女孩原谅，并且告诉女孩自己不能没有她，可是打开门的却是女孩的父亲，而女孩就站在她父亲的身后——

是女孩的遗像。

女孩的父亲告诉男孩，女孩在写完这封信后，跳楼自杀了，血肉一片模糊。


—— 原来“对不起”也可以是种结束。


那一年，男孩疯了。


每个人在自己的生命里头，一定会遇到一个自己真正该珍惜的人。请你好好的珍惜那一个人，不是每一句的对不起，都可以换来每一句的没关系……千万不要辜负了自己心爱的人，那对谁，都不好……把这个故事传下去，让你的朋友们知道，不要随意地说出对不起......


多陪陪该珍惜的。生命诚可贵，有情价更高。

since that message of him, i was thinking real hard.. as in i began to think of all those little little things he do for me.. the deepest impact of him was him bringing me to work on the first day, because i was late and i panic.. although it might seems nothing but i still remember him walking in front of me,helping me to get through the crowd of those 'working' people.. he got bang by people for that..  somehow when i'm working, i miss messaging him and smiling stupidly at those funny messages he sent..
i often thought of this and that but i always got interrupted by something.. seriously i do miss him like sometimes when i'm doing something that we did or went together.. 
but once i thought of that i got the shivers, thinking that what if i'm out of impulse then hurt him or even myself.. it's going to be bad.. anyway.. see my title.. haha. dilemma..  see how God decides the road for me then..

i wish u can block me from all obstacles...
i wish u can be there for me everytime i need u..
i wish u can be the one that i can rely on...
i wish u can protect me from even those little things..
i wish i can stand behind u all the time and u shielding things away from me..
i wish u can be the perfect one, the right one..
i wish i wish i wish.. haha..

Well, these few days have been trying to get my facts right about something which started to bother me for some time... And finally i got my facts right.. practically i don't like the guy that i thought i did.. haha..  its like after much asking of questions to myself.. i found out that literally i didn't.. I find it quite amusing sometimes.. haha... and so i didn't yeah..
Still, i prefer the simple yet i know naive side of me... hoping for a simple and kind prince.. haha
my oh my, where are you??!!!
thats all readers... hehe..

No matter how long we did not met..
No matter how long we din talked to each other..
They are still there,they are your Friends.. Your real and true Friends.. who won't leave u all alone by yourself when u are in need of them or in some form of difficulties..

There was this bright and breezy day.. Sir Isman's wedding,i was the most excited because i am attending my very first wedding with my frens in pretty dresses and with all the juniors.. the wedding was definitely the sweetest one.. with Isman singing the song..
( isman,cherry,isman,cherry...etc ) well,there are still others words of course, but maybe due to Isman's nervousness got the better out of him,he ate up a lot of words and was laughing.. haha.. he sounded real funny,but he was very sweet by singing the love song to his newly wed beloved wife. After the ceremony was over, there was the sumptous buffet.. yeah.. because me and my frens skipped breakfast.. i took rice and some vegetables then hurrily sat down to eat.. perhaps i ate too fast.. i din care back then,i was so hungry.. i finished the 'main course' then proceed with the desserts,the cream puffs,chocolate puffs and fruits.. i swallowed them down hastily...
After all that eating, Ting Ting and Jessie went to take drinks for me and Shuna.. i drank it of course.. Ting Ting then leave earlier for work with Li Jiang..
It was only then after around an hour sitting on the bench chit-chatting,the gals are about to leave and we got up... I got the giddy spells.. at first i thought it was just normal as sometimes when i get up i feel giddy for i have talecimia (not sure of the spelling).. but things is not right when i feel myself breathing faster and was sweating profusely.. UH-OH.. then i went back to sit.. then i got up,still giddy,sat down again..
Shuna and Jessie seeing things not right,come to me to check on me whether am i ok,i told them i'm feeling very giddy,they suggested going back to school first then,to get our bags and head home to rest.. i agreed.. Never did i know i will to faint then..
The last thing i remember is that Jessie was holding tightly of me in order not to let me fall, i feel feeble.. i remembered Shuna flaging Taxi,but none came,i feel nauseaus... Then when we are about to cross over to the other side to get Taxi,we were waiting for the cars to pass first,i saw blank and i don feel myself anymore.. the next thing i know was my whole body weight onto Jessie.. i remembered i scared the hell out of my 2 Besties... I remembered Shuna saying i 'fan bai yan' .. i don really know how i do that... haha... might look pretty cool hur,like STORM in X-MEN.. haha.. alright,i know this is not a joking matter..
They supported me and held my arms to get over to the other side.. Again,Shuna tried to flag Taxi but to no avail.. Fortunately, Jun Chang passed by and Thank God, he sent us to our destinations as he was free then.. He sent me back home first.. Shuna and Jessie were still worried.. they helped me up to my house and hand me to my mother.. and she told my father i was being carried home.. i still can walk la..haha...
I was very tired.. and i head to my bed and i just slept..
Till night,Shuna passed my bag to my Granny as i was sleeping,she made the trouble to come here and passed my Granny my bags and stuffs.. Thanks Shuna.. = )

The next day i woke up,i saw Shuna,Li Jiang's messages asking me am i alright.. i was ok then only with slight fever. Ting Ting called me and too asked.. i replied i was ok le.. = ) Jessie's message got to me also.. i'm fine.. = )

hehe.. with all those things above,i cannot have imagined if that day, i was to be left alone without them,i think i will be found lying on the floor.. haha.. but it was because of BESTIES.. true&faithful.... i didn't..
sometimes i was thinking,they treat me so good,maybe i should be more tolerant towards them,lend them by ears whenever they need them,don quarrel with them nor pick up their faults to argue with them, i see everything to that meaningless now,if i were to move a step back and just smile everything over.. shouldn't things be more pleasant and happy to be remembered? doesn't  it sounds better..? hehe.. we are all grown-ups,its hard to find true frens nowadays.. for they are not long to keep.. however,i have 4 precious delicate 'eggs' with me,shouldn't i be more careful and handle them with care.. haha.. i hope these 4 'eggs' can last and be by my side forever till the very end of my journey.. because they are too precious.. = P
Last but not least, i thank God for giving me such wonderful presents.. AMEN..

And also not forgetting my ITE cliques, upon hearing that i'm not well, they send messages to check on me.. thanks thanks.. i'm fine now ... = )  thank you !! Sorry that i have made u all to get worried for me.. sorry sorry yeah..thanks loads.. = )

Today we had a short day at the bowling alley with my frens and classmates, enjoyed playing.. after that,we
( BRANSON,BRYAN,ELLISON,MEI SHAN,NIGEL,TUAN YONG and me) get changed and went to Suntec to watch THE CUROIUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON!! which i've been anticipating even since the movie was out.. It was such a good movie i can say.. Not only was those actors' acting was the most impressive, their script and scenes was the most fascinating,enchanting and FANTASTIC!! I was totally so engrossed watching it,although the film lasted for 3 hours, i have the craves to watch it again,the story was just too sophisticated.. It made me wanting to stand up and clap after the film's over.. simply breath-taking and inspiring..

After that, we went to Yuki Yaki for our dinner( IVY joined us) [NIGEL and TUAN YONG went off],it was my first time and it was really fun. I will never forget those incidents of funny moments that happened.. u see,this two guy,(ELLISON and BRANSON) were creating this "ice cream rain",because the ice cream got stuck to the freezing pan so tightly and they uses so much force with the plastic scrappers provided to scoop the ice creams out,causing ice creams flying all over the place. Their actions was so hilarious and it got me laughing non-stop.. Then there was this BRYAN that keeps adding all sorts of toppings,chocolate rice, to the ice creams flavors that don't matches,eg: DURIAN!! haha.. and he did not add a little... it was a lot.. haha... we made a big mess on the tables with lots of ice creams stains and tissues..Have a lot of fun playing and eating the ice creams.. After that we went home ya,looking forward to the next outing..

In Benjamin Buttons, there was this line, "in your life u can choose to be who u want to be, u can choose to be a dancer, u can choose to be an artist, but whatever choices u've made, it will be what u have chooses it to be".. and so in ur life, u can choose to be as happy or sad as u wanted, i choose to be happy of course.haha..